I’ve been reflecting on our home schooling years since this is our last. I have been a home schooling mama for 13 years, my longest job ever. It will take a bit of adjusting and unwinding, not always planning ahead and on the look out for new learning opportunities or thinking about how to extend an interest into a learning experience that meets the curriculum standards for the year level that Liliana was in.
I have also been thinking about boundaries, and how we, Michael and I, learnt to protect our days so that we held space on our school days for exactly that, school. Learning. Sticking to a routine. Of course there was lots of flexibility in the day and if a subject took all day then so be it. But that is not what I am referring to when I talk about boundaries. You see in our home schooling experience a lot of people held the perception that we did zip all day, or could work around their schedule and Lil’s school work wasn’t a priority, because, well, she could do it anytime couldn’t she and it was home schooling so not as important as going to a bricks and mortar school? Actually no that isn’t the case, not the case at all. So after being burnt a few times I soon realised to become grateful for the experiences and learn from it. Get my intentions clear and keep my boundaries. Michael and I talked a lot about our families priorities and felt very settled with our decisions.
I’m glad that I followed through and gave clear boundaries that I wasn’t able to talk on the phone at certain times because I was home schooling with Liliana. I’m glad that I also scheduled telephone calls to catch up with friends for certain times and if they were a no show, I got their answering machine or they rang later or earlier because it suited them well, I wasn’t available. I saw those catch up calls no different to meeting in a cafe, a scheduled time was decided and we both show up out of respect for each other and respect for each others circumstances on the day. Just to be clear people who did respect our boundaries would call or message me to reschedule, or if something came up they’d let me know asap and if they had an emergency I was there for them.
I saw a quote this morning that pretty much sums up my philosophy on setting boundaries for home schooling and holding space for Liliana’s education. It’s actually a great quote for life!
“Your boundaries are for you, no one else.
They are not set to hurt or punish anyone.
You set them to protect yourself.
They are not to make anyone feel uncomfortable.
And last but not least, anyone who expresses resistance to your boundaries definitely needs them.
Each and every time, without fail.”
From Sarah Kamoto, Narc Proof & Thriving Coach. You can find Sarah on Instagram @narc_proof_and_thriving
One way Liliana observed Michael and I valuing her education was by setting boundaries that protected her time to learn. Those boundaries allowed us to hold space for her curiosity to flourish and just get stuck in to her school days. Those boundaries also helped contribute to Liliana valuing her own education because we did.
I’ll be adding more home schooling blog posts, plus you’ll be able to book a mentoring session with me about home schooling or any of the other subjects I write about soon. I’ll be sharing the news first in my flowery newsletter Garden Postcards, make sure you subscribe to get it.
Thank you for being part of the Fairy Wren Cottage community.
Wishing you all good things, Jude x
Homeschooling #7 Boundaries.
November 9, 2021